The Courage Behind Small Yeses

The quiet power of agreeing to do it anyway

From Footnotes for Flourishing — reflections on psychology, personal development, and growth.

I touched on this idea in an earlier post about learning zones, but lately I’ve been noticing more readily where my comfort zone ends and my stretch zone begins. That may be because I’m being more willing to step beyond comfort, say yes anyway and only then work out how to approach the task.

Both publishing this Footnotes for Flourishing blog, and parkrunning twice so far have stretched me. It would be so easy to avoid both: I could just not write another blog post, or have a lie-in on Saturday morning. And the consequences of doing so might not be that important to others. But not avoiding and doing it anyway opens opportunities for growth which I am becoming more aware of. And that’s true even if it’s raining on Saturday, or I can’t work out what to write about in my next blog post.

A few things this week have pushed me to trust myself. For instance, I stepped in at the eleventh hour to chair an important meeting which otherwise might not have gone ahead. Although I didn’t feel particularly well prepared, I trusted that I’d have the wherewithal to deal with any issues which arose. And, of course, issues did arise. And they were successfully dealt with. What’s more - growth mindset alert! - it was a great learning opportunity about how to prepare effectively for the next time to ensure things run more smoothly.

I’ve also accepted an invitation to become involved in discussions which might lead to my being more publicly visible than I’m currently comfortable with. The invitation arrived, and my initial response was ‘no, not something I want any part of.’ But then, with my Footnotes for Flourishing mindset, I reframed, and looked to see if the opportunity outweighed the potential to make a fool of myself (imposter syndrome writ large). So I said yes. I even suggested specific ideas I had for the project, indicating my investment and saying YES, not (yes). And the organiser’s reply affirmed that I’d pitched my reply right.

This reminded me about an occasion about 30 years ago when I was in a theatrical production of that wonderful if now dated musical The Boyfriend. We turned up for the technical rehearsal only to find that the set building was hours behind, and we’d not be able to start for quite some time. Like my fellow cast members, I could have sat around, bored and frustrated, but instead I asked the set builders how I could help, and was soon handed a tin of paint and a brush. I got stuck in and really enjoyed it. It helped me to realise that situations are so often what you make of them. Saying yes to anything might need courage or bravery to step beyond comfort, but the consequences of doing so can be valuable and affirming (and let you cock a snook at your imposter, who will hopefully fade into the background, suitably chastised).

So have a think about your own situation. Are you avoiding any potential tasks or plans? Where might your next small ‘yes’ be waiting?

Images co-created via ChatGPT.